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Joke of the Day
"What's worse than being uncomfortable at the hospital? Being made comfortable."
Next Joke
"I dumped my blind fiance yesterday. She never saw it coming."
"What can turn a fruit into a vegetable? Jeffrey Dahmer!"
"I keep trying to turn my hat around backwards so I can get down to business, but it's a sombrero and I'm making zero progress."
"Why didn't Jesus eat bacon? It wasn't because he was Jewish, it's because he didn't exsist."
"What's a shark's favorite illegal substance? Reefer"
"Why don't you see penguins in Britain? Because they're afraid of Wales"
"I like my friends like I like my coffee... I gave it up for lent"
"Ever since they started calling pole dancers ""artists,"" I've been writing on my resume that my talents include ""moving in artistic circles."""
"What's the plural of compass? This one's best if you say it out loud. What's the plural of octopus? Octopi. What's the plural of compass? Cumpie."