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Joke of the Day

"uk politics joke What do you call a freshly defeated and resigned, anti-immigration uk poilitician who searches his surroundings for food and general provisions? Nigel Forage"

Next Joke
 
"Me: Dropped my phone & now screen doesn't work. Help forum: Should've had a better case. Apparently, my mother works in Samsung support now."
"I am meeting my twitter crush in a few days and I have officially added ""Please let me wind up in a trunk and not a freezer"" In my prayers"
"What did Hannibal Lector have for breakfast? Kevin Bacon. ... And Jon Hamm. ^^I'll ^^show ^^myself ^^out."
"What do you put on big rusty boobs? Double D 40"
"A Jewish kid asks his Dad: 'Dad, can I have 50 pence please?' The father replies: '40 pence?! what do you want 30 pence for?'"
"A construction worker asked me to make a joke about the contents of his toolbox. Unfortunately, I don't have any drill bits."
"N. Korea ready for war with US, leader tells nation. Come on baby. we are ready."
"HELLO, FIRST TIME CALLER, LONG TIME LISTENER, OCCASIONAL MURDERER."
"ME: Good date? FRIEND: Ok. Until he got undressed ME: Then what? FRIEND: [sticks out pinky finger] ME: Ah. Then he drank tea in a fancy way"