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Joke of the Day

"I sharpened all my kitchen knives today. Now I can't help but slice everything as if I'm in an infomercial."

"Frankly I find fassion shows to be haughty couture"

"What is the difference between an ounce of cocaine and an infant? Eric Clapton would absolutely NEVER let an ounce of cociane fall 49 stories out a window onto the streets of New York."

"What did Jimmy Carter say to Ronald Reagan? Let me Eat your Turds !! Lol !!"

"What does an electrician say when he's confused? Watt?!"

"I hate it when I go to hug someone really sexy ...and my face smashes right into the mirror."

"I hate girls that complain about being single every 3 minutes. 90% of my socks are single & you don't see them crying about it."

"My friend immediately started crying when we found 3 pairs of shoes for $5. She cant stand good buys."

"What do you call it when you wake up with a boner and wait till you go limp to urinate? Atro-Pee"

"I got a job at Apple today by answering just one question. The interviewer asked what my passion was and I said, 'tax laws'."