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Joke of the Day

"I got a job at Apple today by answering just one question. The interviewer asked what my passion was and I said, 'tax laws'."

"My husband asked me why I never blink during sex, I told him there just isn't enough time."

"I couldn't believe it when my mother said she liked The Monkees more than The Beatles. Then I saw her face."

"Never drink water after eating fish !!! Your stomach might become an aquarium. PS not mine read it somewhere"

"Why is the Statue of Liberty a woman? Because the head had to be empty in order to build a restaurant."

"""I don't even own a slave"" - colonial hipster"

"No one has stolen my lunch at work since I started labeling it ""Stool Sample."""

"""And this is my creepy husband, John."" (The way my friend should introduce her husband)"

"Why do jews have big noses? because the air is free"

"*Approaches girl at bar* Brain: Say you like her eyes. No, hair. Actually, go for eyes! Me: You have lovely hairy eyes Brain: My bad."