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Joke of the Day

"Giant methane storms on Uranus phys.org/news/2015-03-giant-methane-storms-uranus.html"

"What's worse that biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion."

"Ugh: I hid three dozen raw eggs in the house last night after taking Ambien and now I can't find them."

"What did one earring say to the other? You go on a head, i'll just hang round 'ere"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Borg ! Borg who ? Borg standard !"

"After the Heimlich maneuver what's the best way to stop someone from choking? To pull it out."

"Ooh. Remove card RAPIDLY, not RABIDLY. I think I owe the lady at pump 2 an apology."

"An entire cheerleader civilization was wiped out in the eruption at Pompompeii."

"#ItsTheEndOfTheWorldAnd I'm going to run with scissors and swim immediately after eating!!!"

"There are three kinds of people on earth Those who can count to three and those who can't !"