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Joke of the Day

"Ten years from now mankind will be illiterate, and we'll only communicate through pictures of our breakfasts."

"Opening a new restaurant, focusing on gourmet noodles and spaghetti. We're also going to offer free delivery. We're calling it Send Noods"

"I saved time doing yard work by renaming the weeds ""plants"""

"Wife: Put the dishes away I have other things to do. Me: ok *Me loading dishwasher with wife watching entire time to ensure I do it right*"

"My urologist told me I need to stop masturbating... I asked him why and he told me it's very innapropriate masturbate during a physical exam."

"So i went to the zoo the other day, but there was only 1 animal there. It was a Shih Tzu"

"When people's driving tweets end mid sentence, did the paramedics find their phone and hit send?"

"I'm not a huge fan homeopathy... ...but I guess it's okay in small amounts."

"Put the punchline in the title. Jokes suck when people"

"I was trying to get a top comment on Reddit... But I Blueit"