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Joke of the Day

"Me: Girls' night in!!! Cat: I'm a cat. Me: You're my best friend. Cat: I'm not even a girl cat. Me: So it's like a date? Cat: Get help."

"I was trying to catch some fog earlier... I mist."

"Judging by his physique, I'd guess Popeye's a pretty accomplished masturbator."

"4-year-old: What does God smell like? Me: 4-year-old: Me: Nachos. 4-year-old: With cheese?"

"If a man opens the car door for his wife... it's either a new car or a new wife."

"I'm drinking some pretty average tea... It's Mediocritea."

"What is a King's favourite piece of Golf Equipment? His Royal Tee"

"The NFL was considering issuing small bats to the referees to ""knock"" the balls used for the Super Bowl to check for proper inflation... but then they realized that was queer."

"What did the pig say when it found a fly in its soup? ""Yum Yum."""

"Have you seen the movie - Constipated? No? Why? Cause it hasn't come out yet!"