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Joke of the Day

"Did i tell you that someone hit me over the head with a power tool the other day? Minding my own business, then next minute BOSCH."

"The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public."

"Wanna hear a joke? Rays legs."

"employee: over 100 ppl were killed by the dinosaurs again CEO: my God [10yrs later] CEO: what if we made a dinosaur theme park again lmao"

"A woman flashed her tits at me today.... I just sat there and giggled like a school boy. Then she said to me "" will you stop mucking around and check this lump, doctor."""

"What's easier to load into a garbage truck? Bowling balls or babies? Babies, because you can use a pitchfork."

"Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy."

"Back from my bike ride and I feel fit as a fiddle ... the fiddle, ya know, that most athletic of instruments..."

"What do you call a prostitute that has sex for free? A priest."

"My oldest approached me today, and told me he was feeling suicidal. I said, ""Hang in there, son,"" and pointed to the spare room."