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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes when people talk to me, I scream and beat my chest. It not only establishes dominance, but tells them to go away."

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"'Ho Ho Ho' said Santa! as he watched 16 and pregnant!"
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"Roses are red, Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's To get to the other side"
"What's the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom? One snatches your watch the other watches your snatch."
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"What do you call Apple's next beauty product? The iLiner."
"What did the great Ape shout to the pilots who tried to shoot him off the skyscraper? Listen hotshots don't monkey around with me!"