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Joke of the Day

"How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They just beat the room for being black. (Just an old one I knew, not sure how common..)"

"""Gary give me the gun"" ""I thought you had it"" ""I TOLD you to bring it"" ""I didn't"" ""who brought the getaway car?"" -Disorganized crime"

"Russian Standard is a vodka and American Standard is a toilet. Russians are all drunks and Americans are all full of shit."

"I saw the strangest thing ever today. I threw a sausage off the pier and some blind man jumped in after it, then when he reappeared out of the water, he had transformed into a Labrador."

"Roma menstruation Q. What's the best thing about a Gypsy on her period? A. When you finger her you get your palm red for free."

"I sold my vacuum cleaner on ebay........ It was just sat in the corner collecting dust....."

"If whores, witches, ghosts and hobo's show up on my doorstep, I can only assume it's Halloween because our family reunion was in July...."

"Why did the Republican get a sunburn? Because the sunscreen instructed to apply liberally and he was unwilling to compromise."

"What is the preferred coffee drink of people with alzheimer's? The Iforgotto"

"Why don't pirates ever stop going to brothels? They can't get enough booty."