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Joke of the Day

"Q. How are men like television commercials? A. You can't believe a word either one of them says and they both last about 30 seconds."

"Father and son standing outside the elephant's cage in the Moscow Zoo. Father tells son ""If we stand around here long enough one of them will throw some food at us."""

"What should you do before criticizing Pac-Man? WAKA WAKA WAKA mile in his shoes"

"In my pocket is a computer far more powerful than the one that took Apollo11 to the Moon. I use it to photograph food & fling birds at pigs."

"I asked my girlfriend if looks and money were important to her when choosing a boyfriend... she said ""Clearly not."" :-("

"What do you call a cow that masturbates? Beef jerky."

"Am I relying on you to cover up all these blood stains after murdering my ex? BLEACH I MIGHT BE"

"What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them"

"""Mrs. Arnold Palmer, what do you do for good luck before your husband plays a tournament?"" ""Well, I kiss his balls for good luck."" ""That must make his putter flutter."""

"What does Neil Patrick Harris call his toilet? His Dookie Houser"