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Joke of the Day

"I just submitted my penis as ""Innovator of the Year"" in 2009, for his pioneering work in solving womens hunger."

"A set of jumper cables walks into a bar The waiter looks at him and says "" I'll serve you, but don't start anything."""

"Whoever is bringing me the 3 dozen donuts each morning, thank you. But could you just leave them on my desk and not in the break room?"

"I'll be honest, the only time I'd ever want to be 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians' would be if I was chasing them With an axe."

"In this election year, I'm buying shorter socks. Because I don't support Crews"

"The Earth is roughly 70% water and 30% haters"

"What should you do when your girlfriend starts smoking?? Slow down and maybe use some lube..."

"""Life isn't fair!"" is an ironclad excuse for treating people like crap."

"What do you call a girl who is bad at drawing? Tracey"

"BOB: Hey boss can I get another raise SCROOGE: But I just gave you... B: What's that over there, is it a gho-o-o-ost?? Ooooooooo S: OK! OK!"