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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between weed and pussy? If you can smell weed across the room, that means its good."

"What is a tresspasser's least favorite number? The number 86. (No seriously. Google ""86"".)"

"An avocado-wife is giving her husband the silent treatment Husband: ""I said you were the good kind of fat!"""

"What's the difference between 3 and 13? Nothing, they both have 1 3"

"What did the hungry boss give his worker? Their celery!"

"As an organ donor I wonder if there's some box I can check that might prevent my organs from keeping Dick Cheney alive?"

"Whats similar between a hurricane and women? They come in hot and wet and leave with **THE LAWN CHAIRS WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SARA YOU BITCH!**"

"My sense of humor is a little crazy But the dragon rises into the potassium nitrate milkshake at sundown. It's a good day to be a helicopter."

"""Check, please!"" - Me, at a restaurant begging the waiter to make sure there are no monsters under the table"

"So a irishman walks out of a pub"