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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a hooker who specializes in anal sex? A backhoe."
Next Joke
"My buddy said I was a horrible wing man last night, but I'm not sure. I ate like 90 of them."
"my criminal record is only clean because of how fast i can run with my pants around my ankles."
"Naming that space movie Gravity makes about as much sense as naming Jurassic Park something like There's No Dinosaurs In This."
"What's the most cleanest animal on the planet? A Hygiena."
"Michael Jackson, too soon? What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One of them walks on the moon, the other one fucks little boys in the ass"
"What is smarter? What is smarter, longitude or latitude?...Longitude, because it has 360 degrees."
"Back when I was a kid we stared at the wall when we took a shit and we liked it!"
"Me: sorry I can't go to the farmer's market with you. Allergies. Friend: pollen? Me: hipsters."
"Did you know stuffing your bra with toilet paper works pretty well... except when it rains."