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Joke of the Day

"My friend told me to let loose and be reckless today so I walked really fast with a bowl full of hot soup."

"What is the only thing more permanent than a Sharpie marker? A STD."

"What's so cool about cemeteries? I don't get it. People are dying to get in them."

"Massive victory for business ethics advocates! After years of negotiation and hard work, an industry-wide agreement has finally banned opticians from using contracts containing small print."

"Why can't you trust an atom? Because they make up everything..."

"Why should you feel bad for the gay homeless population? Because they don't have any closets to come out of"

"Lying on my bed struggling to squeeze into jeans The dog comes in to show emotional support ... followed by the cat, who came to judge."

"whats the difference between the USA and a yogurt? If you leave a yogurt unwatched for 500 years it will develop its own culture."

"I got really drunk on St. Patty's Day last year and took the bus home. That may not seem like a big deal to you, but I'd never driven a bus before"

"Funny how old trash yards always have so much razor wire on the fence If I want that trash bad enough no amount of razors will stop me"