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Joke of the Day

"Yo mama so fat The hulk couldn't even lift her up"

"What's the best part about getting head from an infant? Watching the soft spot move."

"Why shouldn't you take the Fourier transform of a square pulse while on a boat? Because you don't wanna sinc!"

"Daughter saw old clothes I've saved for sentimental value & said 'I bet you cried when the last dinosaur died too'. She's out of the will."

"A woman stopped me in the street and asked me to show her how to get to the hospital. So I pushed her under a bus."

"She texted me, ""your adorable."" I replied, ""No, YOU'RE adorable."" Now she's stalking me and all I did was point out her typo."

"If your phone auto corrects ""fuck"" to ""duck,"" it's okay to keep it... It's still fowl language."

"Why is a bullet like a gay man? When it gets it in the ass, he blows his load!"

"I told my son I was an early adopter. He asked, what tech? Then it got weird."

"What do r/jokes subscribers and Catholic priests have in common? Both think the shorter the better."