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Joke of the Day

"What did Helen Keller do when she was drowning? She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue."

"What are some of the perks of living in Switzerland? Well, the flag's a big plus."

"I used to have to read my kids a bedtime story every single night until I started randomly killing off characters to amuse myself."

"What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Doyouthinkhesaurus"

"Me: can i play music Funeral director: that's not appropriate Me: nana would've wanted it Director: ok CD player: someBODY once told me"

"I'm starting to think people are having babies solely for the Facebook likes."

"Somewhere, someplace, there's a hole in the world & inside it there's a bunch of gremlins hoarding the 50,000 lighters I can't find."

"ISIS released a new video today In it they claimed responsibility for manufacturing the Samsung Galaxy Note 7"

"What happens when you click A on thIs post Someone unkowingly gives me internet points."

"What's Alex's (from 'A Clockwork Orange') preferred type of light? Ultraviolent"