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Joke of the Day

"Do you ever think about the Vice President... ...sitting at his desk, looking around his office and thinking to himself, ""Fucking corners."""

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"I hit a parked car today so naturally I left a note. It said ""Die, Decepticons! Die!"""
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Amelia ! Amelia who ? Amelia a package last week - did you get it ? !"
"My grandma won the local grocery store's anual dance competition. She didn't miss a beet."
"Why the young tailor couldn't finish his father's pants? Because he had no pocket money."
"Why did the farmer's house catch on fire? He left his home on the range."
"the best part about arguing with family make up sex"
"What do you call a blonde standing on her head? A brunette with bad breath."
"There are four Mexicans, one Chinese person, and three black people standing on your lawn. What do you have? A sprinkler system. Spic, spic, spic, spic, chink! Nigga, nigga, nigga."
"She asked me for a dollar... But I only had three quarters of it."