223932

Joke of the Day

"I told an overweight joke the other day A woman came up to me afterwards and said ""You're fattist"" I looked her and said ""actually...."

"What's black on the bottom and white on the top? Society."

"Doctor: This patient needs exercise. Get him a walker. No that's a zombie I wanted a walk-oh I see what you did there, nurse [Everyone dies]"

"[Scene: Cloud City. Two men fight each other with lightsabers] Mario: You-a kill my father! Wario: No. I am-a your father. Mario: Mama-mia!"

"What does a Jew with an erection get when he walks into a wall? A broken nose."

"I cook with wine sometimes I even add it to the food."

"I don't research Nihilism anymore. What's the point?"

"""I felt a hair in my mouth but I pulled out a strand of colorful scarves. I knew then."" -David Copperfield's unauthorized bio I'm writing"

"Chuck Norris can't play LIFE. his is too complicated"

"My wife is a psycho, this tweet isn't a joke its a cry for help."