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Joke of the Day

"Today I watched a documentary about crustaceans and I saw a crab take another crab's food... ...crabs can be so shellfish right?"

"If there's one thing everybody can agree on, no there isn't."

"What do you call a paedophile crustacean? A Diddler Crab"

"Just heard on the news about the 1993 luggage murder. Apparently the police are reopening the case"

"[Rorschach test] Patient: Leprechauns in cheetah print unitards kickflipping over flaming tree stumps Dr: I think we can skip the others"

"What do a cue ball and a Mexican have in common? The harder you hit 'em, the more english they pick up."

"What's the difference between a corn husker with epilepsy and a prostitute with dysentery? One shucks between fits."

"Are iPads supposed to be red with two white knobs on the bottom?"

"Went to England and asked a local how Britt he was He said ""I'm Britt-ish"""

"I took my girlfriend bungee jumping. As her body hit and spread out over the rocks below, I thought, ""That'll teach you to lie about your weight."""