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Joke of the Day

"I was in the supermarket when I got a message on my phone telling me there were 24 singles in my area Think I'm going to delete the Kraft Cheese app."

"7 Billion people, 14 billion Faces."

"What's white and washes your socks? Your wife."

"We're having a Jamaican hair day at work tomorrow I'm dreading it already."

"GUY 1: Why can't we skip rope without society judging us? GUY 2: What if we occasionally beat the crap out of each other? Boxing is born."

"I bet Abraham Lincoln would rather go watch another play than watch this debate."

"Did you hear about the Bausch & Lomb tech who fell into a giant lens grinder? He really made a spectacle of himself"

"If a zombie approaches you, bop it on the nose with a rolled-up magazine and say NO."

"I hate people who take drugs. Like customs officers."

"Why aren't there any Mexican astronauts? Because whenever they hear the world ""launch"", they go get something to eat."