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Joke of the Day

"What do you call the most successful vasectomist in American history? American Snipper"

"Why is the ulna the second funniest bone in our skeleton? It's near-humerus."

"Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I... can't see."

"Not sure, but I think I just got to 3rd base with my toothbrush."

"Did you see that? That's the third time she came over here. I think she likes me. ""This is Applebee's and she is our waitress"""

"So I went to the club last night and asked a German girl for her number... and you'll never believe it! Her number is 999-999-9999!"

"When I heard about Ferguson.. ...I assumed it related to Sir Alex Ferguson"

"Stop supporting Russian companies! I hear they all use Slav labor!"

"What did the black holes say when they collided? Nothing, they just waved. (Sorry)"

"you used to call me on my nokia phone"