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Joke of the Day
"What did the banana say to the vibrator? What are you shaking for? She's going to eat me!"
Next Joke
"Did you hear that the Vatican elected a new Pope? Never mind, they were just blowing smoke."
"Why is time wary of mathematicians? They're always plotting against it."
"The ironic but 'real' dangers of immunisations Kid immunised for measles. The next day he dies from the shot."
"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I don't pay to have a garbanzo bean on my face (There's a slight pause between garbanzo and bean when speaking the joke)"
"I forgot to turn my SWAG off before I went to bed. I woke up poor and working at McDonald's."
"Three women are sitting at a bar talking about how loose they are... One can fit in a sausage, one can fit in a cucumber and the third one just slides down onto the bar stool."
"I joined snapchat yesterday; apparently my phone doesn't die fast enough for my liking."
"My favorite country star's good songs are about being bad and his bad songs are about being good I'll always love Jason Aladeen"
"A man threw milk at an old woman before... I said how dairy"