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Joke of the Day
"""Can you read Chinese?"" ""Yes but only when it's printed in English."""
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"Girlfriend's mascara died and I gave it a funeral, you know what they say... Lashes to lashes and dust to dust."
"What's Whitney Houston's favourite form of coordination? HAAAAAND EYEEEEEEE!"
"[dinner table] gfs dad: so what do you do for a living me: human trafficking *he chokes* gf: he's a crossing guard dad"
"An optimist says the glass is half full, a pessimist says the glass is half empty... ... an engineer just points out that the glass is twice as big as it needs to be."
"When the sun explodes you will have eight minutes before the world ends. In a related story, you might want to order dessert now."
"A rapist a gangster and a murderer are in the same car... Who is driving the car? A police officer!"
"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable ? The wheelchair"
"What version of Counter-Strike do feminists get? Counter-Feminist: Globally Offended"
"2 Owls 2 owls are sitting in a tree. First turns to the second and says, ""Did you hear Bill's getting a divorce?"" The second Owl replies, ""Who?"""