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Joke of the Day

"I respected tiger sharks a lot more after I realized how many hurdles tigers and sharks had to overcome to breed with each other."

"Ughh so pissed off. My mail order bride is pretending she doesn't speak english just so she doesn't have to wear the jester outfit again."

"What did the barber say to the Potato? ""You've got eyes on the back of your head!"""

"You can say that Hodor was Branwashed."

"For Halloween, my neighbor put up a Wolverine themed scarecrow. And it's terrifying my daughter. I guess she is claw-straw-phobic..."

"What did the elephant say to the naked man? You breathe through *that*?"

"""Why did you leave your last job?"" -I had a typo in a tweet. ""Mistakes happen!"" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. ""Thanks for coming in. Bye"""

"I'm always disappointed when I board a plane and there's no handsome man running after me to stop me. Thanks, hollywood."

"Why can the Cornish always lend a hand? They probably have a spare."

"Did you know that there is an elephant at Bush Gardens? That's what I call my crotch."