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Joke of the Day

"I went to the doctor and said, ""My penis is burning."" He said, ""That means someone is talking about it."" - Garry Shandling. RIP."

"Did you hear about the tennis star who hit his wife? Apparently it was a backhand."

"A lady came to my door the other day, asking for donations to my local sperm bank.. I gave her a right mouthful."

"It takes a village to raise a child... ...it takes a child with a flamethrower to raze a village."

"What do you call a black hipster? blipster"

"Women! They assume everything but the position."

"Q: Why do Polish hate Cauchy's dog? (hint on Cauchy-Riemann theorem) A: Because it leaves residues at each Pole."

"Clothes make the man. Indonesian children make the clothes."

"You can never tell when someone's had plastic surgery. It always looks super real & not weird or awful. You should get some."

"Immediately after giving birth to me my mom was charged with crimes against humanity"