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Joke of the Day

"Whoever said that all press is good press... clearly hasn't heard of Lostprophets."

"What did the egg say when it was about to be hard boiled? It's gonna take a while to get me hard, because I just got laid by a chick!"

"If I played Edward Scissor Hands in paper, rock, scissors every once in a while I'd throw a paper in there so he wouldn't feel too bad."

"If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills, with a rubber band around it...... I found the rubber band."

"How many Trumps? How many trumps could donald trump trump if donald trump could trump trumps?"

"I met a geologist the other day He seemed gneiss."

"My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class wank him off. I said,""Son that's three schools this year. Maybe teaching isn't for you."""

"Does anyone else get bothered by that last inch the shower curtain wont cover?"

"What do you call a fish out of water? Dry! As told by my 3 year old son."

"mom: brush your teeth and put on your pajamas me: mom i'm a grown man. i don't need u telling me how to get ready for story time."