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Joke of the Day

"What if your pillow could collect your dreams and when you wake up, You could plug it into your computer And watch them over again."

"What's the difference between a woman and a bowl of ramen noodles? A bowl of ramen noodles is actually ready in 5 minutes."

"[Phone with Mom] ""Did you just friend request me?"" I'm on fb now ""I'm not adding you"" Fine do your own laundry then *accepts friend request*"

"How do you confuse a polish laborer? Lay down three shovels and tell him to take his pick."

"I used to not get on with my mother-in-law but over the last few months I've developed quite an attachment for her. It goes over her head and a strap comes down under her chin to keep her mouth shut!"

"Dirtiest joke I ve ever heard (sorry if it s a repost) How can you tell when your sister s having her period? Your dad s cock starts to taste of blood."

"Exclamation points are cocaine for sentences!"

"Hey, have you heard about.... A gladiator whose arms and legs been cut off in a fight? Well, I heard that he's been disarmed and defeated."

"There's a C cup, a T cup, and a P cup The C cup is for drinking coffee The T cup is for drinking tea And the P cup is used to get a Mexican to work"

"What do you call a woman with a bicycle on her head ? Petal !"