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Joke of the Day

"Is it bad that when you walk into a room and a persons clothes are hanging up that you think they have new curtains?"

"I'm surprisingly calm about Internet spoiling Star Wars to me. Who could believe Kylo Ren is actually vegetarian and grandson of General Akbar"

"How to find out who loves you more - your dog or your wife? Easy. Lock them both in a trunk and watch who will be happier to see you after you open it in 15 minutes."

"Which people do the burgers hate? The ones who are always putting the bite on them!"

"Religion is like a nude pic If it ends up on the internet you're entering a world of criticism "

"I think this is a repost. Why did Lady Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seat belt."

"A saxophone is like a lawsuit. Everyone is happy when the case is closed."

"""BRING ME THE FOETUS' OF 3 CHICKENS"" *Maniacal stare* ""Listen dude, its called an omelette,a 3 egg omelette"" ""AND THE BLOOD OF 4 ORANGES"""

"A man had a tumor shaped like a bomber plane. It was B-9."

"Parents: What foreign language class are you taking this year? Me: Math."