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Joke of the Day

"""BRING ME THE FOETUS' OF 3 CHICKENS"" *Maniacal stare* ""Listen dude, its called an omelette,a 3 egg omelette"" ""AND THE BLOOD OF 4 ORANGES"""

"I'd have to say, on a scale from 1 to Pee... urinate"

"What's better than winning gold in the Paralympics? Having a pair of legs...... I know, I know, I'm going to hell"

"She : It's not working between us. He : Why ? She : For starters I can't handle your silly jokes. He : Hmm okay and for main course ?"

"Her: I'm pregnant Me: WHAT? H: Just kidding M: You scared me half to death H: My mom is coming to stay with us M: *the other half dies*"

"How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three: a left ear, a right ear and a front-ear"

"You're shoes are untied! April fools! Got ya!!"

"How can you tell when you're in a bad strip club? It's not hard."

"[inventing trees] Angel: what purpose do they serve? God: cats climb em Angel: can they climb back down? God [inventing the fire dept]: nope"

"The people of Pompeii... Mannequin challenge champions since 79AD"