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Joke of the Day

"Mean while, back on Facebook, Jennifer is blaming the birth of her son for her being fat. Her son is 6 ...."

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"A man is walking down the street dragging 20 ft of rope behind him. His neighbor is curious & asks, ""Hey buddy, why you pulling that rope?"" The man replies, ""You ever tried pushing it?"""
"What's worse than getting 7 years of bad luck from breaking a mirror? Getting a lifetime of bad luck from breaking a condom."
"Congrats Amy Winehouse on being 5 years sober"
"What did the Indian child say to his mother before he left for school? Mumbai!"
"What is Donald Trump's least favorite Candy? Jelly Beaners"
"What's better than roses on my piano? Tulips on my organ."
"Where is the gangster egg from? The Upper Sunny-Side"
"I got attacked by a yob with bat down the local park yesterday.. I was really impressed with how well he had it trained"
"I don't care what you think of me. James Blunt thinks I'm beautiful."
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