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Joke of the Day

"Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? That's disgusting. You shouldn't tell people that."

"Waiter I'd like a cup of coffee please with no cream. I'm sorry sir but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?"

"My housemates may get angry at me for stealing all their cooking utensils.. ..but quite frankly that's a whisk I'm willing to take."

"The Ultimate Spoiler You all die in the end."

"My favorite joke from tonight's debate ""you have 2 minutes"""

"[Chasing a man out of the bathroom with a pube] Sir you dropped this!"

"People keep telling me that I have a higher chance of getting mugged in London than in New York. Well, what do they expect, I don't live in New York."

"What do a pedophiles hopes and bingo have in common? B7...B7..."

"Stranger danger is a very real thing. They nearly always react badly to proposals."

"*sits down in a classy as hell bar* ""barkeep! a bottle of your finest champagne please. I earn..."" *lowers shades* ""$200 every 4 months"""