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Joke of the Day

"Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? That's disgusting. You shouldn't tell people that."

"""Today's special is a grilled Chilean sea bass with white wine reduction. We recommend Instagramming it with the 1977 or Apollo filters..."""

"What is a gay couples favorite fruit? Cantaloupe"

"What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry? My donation check to the orphanage."

"My friend told me to stop acting like a flamingo I just had to put my foot down."

"I hate it when employees ask to go home sick Diarrhea is a really shitty excuse. And vomiting is always a toss up."

"What does an electrician say when he's confused? Watt?!"

"What did Mark Antony say to Van Gogh? Lend me your ears"

"i really like the name saturn it has a nice ring to it"

"Why are carbon chains with two double bonds so sad? Because they're diene"