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Joke of the Day

"For you sir I would recommend one of our deluxe funeral plans where I won't dig you up and slap you around when I'm feeling mad at skeletons"

"Referring to people as individuals isn't accurate... I can divide them."

"Why are pirates, pirates ? CASUE THEY ARGHHHHHHH"

"Who's driving the car? Theres a muslim a mexican and black guy in a car, whos driving?.. **The cops**"

"I wish it was my job to sit around laughing at statuses all day. Actually, he is unaware, but that's what my boss is paying me to do anyway."

"What are Mario's overalls made of? Pixels."

"Jared ended his career the same way he started it... Trying to get into smaller pants."

"Why do Mexicans never cross the border in groups of three? Because the signs all say ""No TRESpassing"""

"Today I found out what it was like to play a FPS First person shoveler. gg blizzard."

"Genuinely stunned France has adopted the word ""wifi"" rather than ""le signal librement accessible sans l'utilisation de fils"" or some shit."