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Joke of the Day
"derpy joke i went to the zoo the other day and there was just 1 dog.... it was a shitzu"
Next Joke
"What do you get when you cross a pig and a spider? Bacon and scrambled leggs."
"You can run but my rifle's got a scope."
"Is Google male or female? Female, because it knows everything, and secretly tracks your activity."
"Sketch artist: Any more details on the attacker? Me: No, that's all I saw *shows me it's just a picture of a fist* Me: *sobbing* That's him"
"I hate looking in the mirror. Whenever I do, there is always some asshole blocking my way."
"Why are there so many Female Archaeologists? Because women love digging up the past."
"It costs today's parents $235,000 to raise a child. And that's just for the alcohol."
"If I say I love you, don't read too much into it. I just told this cheesecake that I love it, too."
"What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens? Caesar salad"