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Joke of the Day
"Q: How do you sink a Polish ship? A: Put it in water."
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"'Tell me you want me' he ordered. 'I want you' she said. 'Now tell me you need me.' 'I need you' she sighed. She hated calling tech support."
"It's weird how scantrons make you go #2 all over them."
"Where do one-legged waitresses work? IHOP. Tipping your waitress takes on a whole new meaning."
"[1st time buying drugs] Me: can I get a *reads smudged notes on hand* married iguana Guy: *opens coat to reveal married iguanas* Me: hell ya"
"What's hit more balls than David Beckham's right foot? Elton John's chin."
"The joke's not here.... It's in the comments."
"Thank you, slow walking family in front of me on the footpath, No please, take your time.... and definitely spread out, so you create a barricade of idiots."
"What do you call a Corvette following a Camaro at high speeds? Chevy Chase."
"People get so offended if you call certain people fat. You have to say jolly."