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Joke of the Day

"Jim ate my sandwich. It was clearly labeled. Jim's email is open on his PC. Jim's son now thinks he's adopted. The sandwich was LABELED."

"What are the odds of an anorexic girl joining the clergy? Slim to nun."

"There's a doping scandal at the Rio de Janeiro Paralympics involving the Russians. We will see if these accusation stories have any legs."

"I like to yell ""Aloha, Captain Future!"" when I see someone using an iPad in public."

"What does a cannibal do after dumping their girlfriend? They wipe, flush, and wash their hands"

"me: ""okay I might as well just say it..I love you"" girl dinosaur: ""omg u have no idea how long I've waited for u to say that!"" *meteorite*"

"Why do Mexican students act like they own the school? Because there mom cleans it and there dad fixed the roof"

"The problem with getting a BJ from a deaf chick They can still talk while they do it."

"What type of Martial Arts does Jesus know? Jiu Jitsu."

"A pirate walks into a bar... He has a ship's wheel right on his crotch. The bartender asks: ""What's the wheel for?"" The pirate reply's: ""ARRRRRGH, It's drivin' me nuts!"""