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Joke of the Day

"The last thing The last thing OJ said to Nicole? your waiter will be right with you."

"Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor."

"Why was the student witch so bad at essays? Because she couldn't spell properly."

"I am happy to report this vodka works."

"What's the difference between LSD and my dad? LSD doesn't need to be drunk to hit me."

"What do you call a counterfeit receipt for a memory consultant? A Freudilent slip."

"Pregnant white women over 30 always buy the biggest SUV around, because you never know when you'll give birth to half of a baseball team."

"Maggie Thatcher Just heard they have cancelled the funeral. ATOS have declared Maggie fit for work!"

"What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? Dam."

"It's so cool how math isn't real now that I'm a grown up."