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Joke of the Day

"Mercury has a harsh climate, as the day time temperature is 430 degrees Celcius. At night however, it freezes to -170 degrees Celcius. First world problems."

"Welcome to my garden of actors And on your left, we have the Benedict Cucumber Patch"

"What do Spiderman and I have in common? We both end up with sticky hands after using the web."

"My father once told me, ""Son, you're not an African't American, You're an African American't."" Just kidding. I'm black. I don't have a father."

"What is white, and 14 inches long. Absolutely nothing."

"I like my cream like I like my slaves. Whipped. *I'm so sorry*"

"What does an elephant say, looking at a naked man ? You can't breathe from it"

"My friend asked me if her breath smelled like tacos. I said, ""I don't know, do you put shit in your tacos?"""

"Lifehack: dress your young children in the colors of the food you are serving them to avoid outfit changes."

"Sorry I threw your baby but there was a spider on her."