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Joke of the Day

"Two peanuts were walking down the street.... And one of them was assaulted"

"Does your face hurt? Well it's killing me."

"I think my dog is gay because he wags his tail every time I suck his dick."

"Did you know you can drink Lava? But only once!"

"I think if I was a lifeguard I would just talk shit through my megaphone. ""WHAT WERE YOU THINKING... WHO WEARS CARGO SHORTS TO THE POOL."""

"We just had Christmas and now Easter is right around the corner. Hard to believe they crucified Jesus when he was only 4 months old."

"How can you tell if a tornado is stupid? -If it spins anti-cyclonically"

"The dream of a every man with a fat belly... Is to just look down and be able to see his willy."

"If I had a dollar for every repost I've seen I'd be a millionaire"

"I hope that the missing puzzle piece my 5 year old has been searching the house for has nothing to do with my 2 year old's burp."