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Joke of the Day

"Two flies are sitting on a piece of shit One fly cuts a fart, and the other fly goes, ""Hey, I'm eating here!"""

"Hey wanna hear a fat joke? [deleted]"

"I'm no accountant but I'm thinking if you sold your Escalade, you could probably afford a lawnmower. Maybe even some paint for the house."

"What is the difference between an abusive relationship and The Chainsmokers ? Nothing, The hits keep coming"

"Question about a song: Who is Phyllis Navi Daad and why are wishing her a Merry Christmas?"

"If two people on opposite sides of the world drop a piece of bread on the ground at the same time the Earth briefly becomes a sandwich"

"What happens when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? You get half way"

"*Lying in hospital Doctor)Your back is broken in 6 places. You may never walk again Me)At least I got all the groceries in one trip"

"Alcoholics don't run in my family They stumble around and break things"

"Did you hear about the time that shallots, scallions, ramps, and leeks all got together? They tried to onionize."