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Joke of the Day

"*getting married Priest: will you love & honor her? Me: I will Her: [whispers to priest] Priest: and leave your phone unlocked? Me: I'm out"

"Who can watch an R rated movie but not a PG? Batman"

"What do you call an empty field? The french army at the beginning of a war!"

"Doctor asks a patient... Do you use drugs or alcohol? Patient: Nope, but I vape. Doctor: So a no for sexual activity?"

"Why are pills white? Because they work."

"What's long, black, and smelly? The unemployment line"

"I want a Michael Corleone in the streets and a horse head in the sheets."

"What is Anon's favorite coding language? Fortran"

"My Masseuse just read 'Cinderella' to me ~ That's the last time I ask for a happy ending."

"I've been e-mailing William Shakespeare. William Shakespeare's dead silly. No wonder he hasn't replied."