220113

Joke of the Day

"Doctor asks a patient... Do you use drugs or alcohol? Patient: Nope, but I vape. Doctor: So a no for sexual activity?"

"What did the farmer say when his fat pig wouldn't fit into the pen? ""There's more there than meets the sty."""

"Me: Did you have a shirt on when you said it? Wife: I was naked, just out of the shower. Me: And you expected me to remember what you said?"

"What kind of tea did the american colonists want? Liberty"

"My phone changed 'loud' to 'logs' so I ""laughed out logs"" at a friend's joke. I mean, I did poop a little, BUT HOW DID MY PHONE KNOW?"

"Did you hear the new Whitney Houston album? It didn't make much of a splash."

"Just had a very thorough pat-down by a TSA agent. Now he wants to talk about my feelings, but I'm soooo sleepy."

"What makes the noise of a cow when you turn it upside down? A cow."

"Have you heard about that new movie, ""The Homophobic Preacher""? Hasn't come out yet."

"I promised to stop making dirty jokes But it's hard..so hard."