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Joke of the Day

"I used to think I knew what a racist was until I told Usain Bolt he was my favorite racist ever."

"If I've learned one thing from Philip Seymour Hoffman's death, it's that someone needs to introduce Bieber to heroin."

"My girlfriend is a pornstar She is going to be very pissed when she finds out."

"There's a job in the paper for a park litter attendant. Experience is not necessary, you just pick it up as you go along."

"What do gay people call each other on? Homophones!"

"EXCLUSIVE OFFER: 1,000 tampons for only $5 No strings attached."

"Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning? A: It swells at night."

"Me: When does karaoke start? Him: Never. Me: But I put my ""I ? Karaoke"" t-shirt on. Him: We noticed. Me: This is the worst funeral ever."

"My doctor said if I wanna drop a few pounds I'd have to stay away from carbs So I've been using this insanely long straw to drink beer"

"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four-year old child? Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!"