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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four-year old child? Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!"

"If I lived in Gotham City I'd always be hinting I was Batman to get freebies. ""I'll get the bat-check. I mean regular check. Bat-thanks."""

"Everyone was dreaming of working for Steve Jobs except his pancreas"

"Say what you will about hitler... At least he killed 6 million Jews"

"2001 called... They want their towers back"

"Men are like coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere."

"I really want to buy one of those grocery checkout dividers But the cashier keeps putting it back."

"Damn girl, are you a pig? Because your mother looks like a pig. Because you look damn hot bacon in the Sun. Because I want to stuff you like Thanksgiving dinner. . . . More suggestions appreciated"

"When you ask your waiter for an extra pickle, don't wink. It can easily be misinterpreted."

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field."