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Joke of the Day

"A guest at a restaurant asks the waiter... ""do you have lobster tails?"" The waiter replies: ""Of course! Once upon a time, there was a little lobster....."""

"So a man walks into a... All you just got to do is finish it."

"Two black guys are in a car, who's driving? The cop"

"There's only one correct response when a girl says ""I have a tattoo of a midget on my boob"" ""They prefer to be called 'little people'""."

"HEALTH TIP: If you find a pill on the floor of a public restroom, Google it before taking it."

"What happens when Fonzie doesn't fold his clothes after doing laundry? His shirts get all winkly."

"Goal as a white guy 1)Pay taxes 2)Never say anything that may come across as racist 3)Find something clever to do with my arms when I dance."

"Have you seen the clown at Walmart that hides from gay people? Of course you haven't."

"Jake and the Cat Man: One man solves crime, the other spends the entire show being startled by thunder."

"What did the worker ant say when the queen ant asked him to make mittens for all of the other ants? *Fuck.*"