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Joke of the Day

"When I'm in an elevator with a stranger I generally hold their hand to let them know that they're safe"

"Freak out your neighbors by removing one member of their stick figure decal family each night."

"Is your GPS supposed to sigh before it says ""Recalculating""?"

"Don't know if this is original or not but... What is the top selling fruit in the world? Clay Aiken."

"How many of my parents does it take to mow the lawn? None. They pay me to do it."

"My son asked me what it's like to be married so I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me."

"What's the difference between a joke and 3 cocks? Your mom can't take a joke."

"Farmer vs Prostitue What is the difference between a corn farmer with epilepsy and a prostitute with diarrhea? One shucks between fits"

"A reality show where gay marriage opponents have to live under 100% Biblical laws for six months so they can show us how awesome it is."

"What kind of chili do they serve at the cannibal prison?? Chili CON Carne!"