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Joke of the Day

"What is it about tall creepy louisiana swamp dwellers that makes them naturally glow? Their bayou loomin' essence"

"I'm a secondhand veggietarian. I eat cows. Cows eat grass. It's science. Merica."

"Where do people in Ghana go to watch football? The Ghanarena"

"""There's a word for people like that...No, I'm saying, there's a word and I don't know what it is. I'm not being fucking poetic."""

"I'll never understand why anyone would want to kidnap a child, kids suck."

"What do you call a black Asian bird? Croatian."

"Fun fact: Did you know that HIV is Roman for 'high five'? Pass it on - or, rather, don't."

"Where is Hitler's bathroom? Down the hall and to the third REICH!"

"Why do people draw sunglasses on the sun? It's like, dude, he's the sun. They make sunglasses because of him."

"Just got Lasik. 20/20 would do again."