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Joke of the Day

"""Star Wars"" fans are very upset that the story line of the upcoming new ""Star Wars"" movie has been leaked. Apparently the movie starts with R2-D2, Chewbacca, and Han Solo all waking up in Vegas."

"""I"" before ""E"", except after ""C"". That's an efficient rule. Very efficient. Yep...efficient."

"It's not Adam and Steve, it's Adam and [Cher autotune voice] beli-EVE *club goes crazy*"

"Marriage is like coffee. First it's really hot. Then it's just right. Then it helps you to get off your ass and do things."

"I hate the term ""Hipster"" It's too mainstream"

"What kind of bees give you milk Boobies"

"Pot smokers like to say it's safe because it's natural. Other safe natural things include sunburn, poison ivy, and being eaten by a bear."

"If you live in the US always be careful to not break your leg because you have to sell it after fixing it to cover the cost"

"Siri does the best Stephen Hawking impression."

"Walked into a spider web and did an hour of tai chi in five seconds."