193714

Joke of the Day

"Siri does the best Stephen Hawking impression."

"Real women don't chase men. We set traps."

"Why do Pandas have such a hard time mating in captivity? Because all of their broads are in Atlanta"

"I had a sip of the Milky Way galaxy. It turns out I'm galactose intolerant."

"Who really appreciates a good fisting? A sock puppy."

"Sometimes I spend so much time on Twitter in the bathroom that I actually pee twice."

"eBay's search feature can be so useless sometimes and other times be equally worthless with overkill. I tried to look up cigarette lighters and they had 13,749 matches."

"A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich... After finishing his meal, he tries to pull out a gun, but the owner shoots him dead because he's seen this joke on /r/jokes a hundred times."

"Why are white girls so odd? Because they can't even."

"""Omg there's a picture of him blowing smoke out of his mouth. I must bang him this instant""- no one, ever."