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Joke of the Day

"If you live in the US always be careful to not break your leg because you have to sell it after fixing it to cover the cost"

"I was camping when I lost my virginity. It was in tents."

"the difference between me and humpty dumpty is that his friends looked at him and thought to themselves ""we should put him back together"""

"What is Spider-Man's favorite rice? Uncle Bens!"

"While people argue about the glass being half empty or half full...I'll just be drinking from the bottle !"

"Me: Do you love me? 13: Silence Husband: if you don't tell your mother you love her we are going to make out at your next soccer game."

"Policeman: Are you going to a fire? Motorist: No I'm trying to prevent one. That's what my boss said would happen if I were late again."

"#WhenIWasYourAge: We had to open all doors by ourselves. None of them knew we were coming."

"""Emma Stone"" ~ Italian man telling you he's high"

"""Excuse me sir, but there's a Bohemian knight here to collect his fee."" ""Tell him the check is in the mail."""